Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
