Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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