i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
