So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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