Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
