Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
