Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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