susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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