No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
