Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
