from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
