Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You need a sexual gate keeper
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
