just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
