I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
