He kissed a someone with a penis
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
