just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
