after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
