idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
