I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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