Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
