Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Randomize
