You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
