Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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