no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
