We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
