oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
