When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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