We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
