Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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