In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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