We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
