I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
