can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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