She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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