i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
