Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
this will be a night to untag.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
