he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
