she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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