Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
