all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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