you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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