you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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