I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
