Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
