i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
