you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
