would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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