do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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