I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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