It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
