I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
