Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize
