If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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