U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
