I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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